Riding a bike

Baby Madeleine at one month--sitting pretty next to her little pet owl, Plato (Andrew named him).  A friend once told me that the days are long but the months/years go fast.  And, incredibly, unbelievably, it's true.  I can hardly comprehend that we're already into her 5th week, getting ready to see her "social smile" and ponder the wonders of two babes sleeping at the same time. 

I was terrified at the thought of taking on another kiddo.  You can ask Andrew.  You can ask my mother.  Terrified.  The whole week my mom was here (God bless her) I kept trying to do too much, perpetually feeling like I needed to prove to myself that I could do it, that I could take on the juggling act of balancing two baby's feeding cycles, two babies napping, two babies needing all of my attention.  I think I cried almost every day for two weeks because I felt so hugely inadequate.  I remember feeling devastated that I couldn't give them both baths the same day, or finish a load of laundry.  But, what I didn't realize was that it's like learning to ride a bike.  You take the help, you are kind to yourself, and the next thing you know, you're doing it.  You're able to feed them both, care for them both, and actually do the dishes, pick up the toys, get outside and eat something yourself.  It happens slowly.  But, amazingly, we're all surviving.