Monday, March 12, 2012
Some days I feel like I have so far to go. No matter how many inspirational quotes I read on my Pinterest feed, I'm still me at the end of the day, a work in progress desperately trying to hang onto the right perspective. I was sitting on a bench, in the sunshine, this weekend, watching the boys play with sticks and puppies, contemplating how a world with a knack for instant gratification, instant information, instant entertainment and distraction, handles the idea that some things take time. We, as forming individuals, take time. I feel like it's going to take years for me to fully appreciate this precious time with my babies. Years to understand that marriage is so much better when you give fully! It's going to take even longer to be kind to myself, to understand my depression, to love the shadow parts of my soul. It's supposed to, though, right? Every step I take towards appreciating myself and my situation is a step in the right direction. Each day I'm slowly getting there. I can't rush it--I can't simply stop and suddenly become this fully actualized, appreciative, wise, thoughtful, care-free woman who knows not only all that she wants but what she has. Might not be the most popular thought out there, but I'm going to give myself the freedom to get there... someday. Or at least try!