Processing

Sometimes I catch myself wondering how I should phrase my Facebook status for the day. I eat something delicious or William does something funny and I try and word smith the status in my head even before I get to the keyboard. Or, I start pondering my blog post as I'm on my morning walk. It's satisfying. And strange at the same time. Four years ago I didn't have a Facebook page. I didn't have a blog. I didn't have an internet presence. And I was fine with that. I knew that when I started this blog post that I didn't want to express a strong opinion one way or the other on the subject of our internet footprint. I did, however, want to talk about the weird way we're learning how to process information and articulate our life happenings on the web. I used to journal frequently--scribbling my thoughts down in books of all shapes and sizes. And I still do to a degree, but there's a certain amount of transparency that I enjoy when I actually hit the "publish post" button and realize that my thoughts have been crystallized thanks to my blog space. Or when I bake something yummy I feel like I'm wafting the chocolaty deliciousness out my door an into your home. I'm sharing. In a way. We process things differently. I have a sister who needs to talk--needs to get her quota of words out per day. That's how she finds connection. I also have a friend who processes quietly, meekly, by herself and shares specific information with a select few trusted souls. We each have our way of making sense of our days and the world around us. I've been surprised at how my needs have changed over the year with William but also as I've grown more attached to things like texting, Facebook, and longer, rambling posts here on my blog (although infrequent). Being a stay-at-home mom has definitely changed the way I view my need to connect--I crave it like none other. I need to be seen and I need people to hear me--even if that means sitting in a playground chatting with a stranger about the benefits of sippy cups. I also have noticed that I need different ways of processing--mostly due to the lack of personal time. I don't have the time or space to sit down and write for hours in my journal. I have laundry to do, orders to fill, supper to cook and places to be. I feel like it takes me a little longer to discover new parts of myself or to actualize lessons I'm learning this way. Is it because our thoughts are fragmented to the basic of basic text messages? Or the brief statuses we write on our walls? I wonder... I really have no idea. It's just interesting! So, no real conclusions in the end... just a bit rambly.

Sending love,
Jewels

PS The hydrangeas are in full bloom here--lots and lots of blue!