Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Growth








It was the perfect blustery day.  Wind howling, rain pelting.  We didn't leave the apartment.  Stayed in our comfies and watched a lot of Kipper.  I moved my bedroom around a bit.  Shifted things here and there.  Typical spring activities.  I'm growing basil and oregano in little egg cartons on my window sill.  I also painted my desk rain drop blue last night--it really, really needed it.  Do you see my mini books?  They're coming together.  I'll post pictures tomorrow!

It's funny.  I re-read what I've just written, and part of me cringes.  It seems like such a peaceful, blissful, little life.  Emphasis on the little part.  I've struggled with finding the job of a stay-at-home-mom competitive enough in the world of the full-time, salaried jobs other women have.  There are days when being a full-time Mama is hard work, other days it feels like something I was born to do.  You will find advocates on both sides--hard-core, full-time, SAH-Mama-enthusiasts, and the die-hard, full-time, traditionally employed Mamas.  Which is better for the children?  Which is better for the family?  Which is better for the Mama?  Trust me, you can go round and round with these questions.  Everyone has an opinion.  In the end, all I can say is there are days I love being a stay-at-home-mom.  I thrill at the development and growth I get to see.  First-hand.  And there are other days it's so hard to find affirmation, satisfaction, that it can be emotionally crippling.  I come back, again and again, to the simple idea of trusting yourself.  Trust that what you're doing, at this time, is both good and great.  Whether it's changing a dozen dirty diapers a day or pushing through a new project with a company.  Trust that your time, your energy, is a beautiful thing.  And where you put it throughout the day is a powerful investment!

3 comments:

Victoria Strauser said...

Goodness - such beautiful words and images! I die of cuteness - those eyes and smile - wow! The desk is perfect, as are the books - can't wait to see more of them tomorrow!

Jillian said...

Never doubt your heart, Julia. I think the reason most working moms are so die-hard and competitive (and bitter) is because they miss or feel like they lost something by not being able to stay home with their kids. Everyone is different - of course. I think it's great that you're able to create and work - while caring for two young children. You go girl! There's always time in the future for working away from the home and you will never regret not missing out on these days.

Cindy said...

i read this article and thought of you - The Retro Wife http://nymag.com/news/features/retro-wife-2013-3/