Tuesday, January 4, 2011
For any of you new to the Red Otter blog, the topic of motherhood has been a sensitive one. William arrived almost six and a half months ago. It wasn't an easy transition. Still isn't at times. But, it's getting better. Like with any relationship, the more time you invest, the better it gets. I feel this incredible surge of joy just looking at these photos. Remembering how I was feeling under the weather last weekend and he just snuggled up. It was better than any drug. I'm not sure I can describe it, but this little person, this adorable bundle of energy pulls me through the day. I want to be someone he's proud of. I want to show him the magic of the world--help him explore and discover. I still struggle with being a stay-at-home mom. It was never something I aspired to and finding validation for what I'm doing, what I'm sacrificing, is difficult. I realize it's about perspective, that some mothers would give anything to be at home with their babies, but I have to keep reminding myself how fortunate I am. Oh, the lessons I'm learning! I feel like I'm perpetually being stretched, that my ideas of what is successful, accomplished, productive are forever being refined. I have to say, though, I know it's good, I feel it in my bones. That what I'm learning, what we're learning together, what we have to explore ahead--it's good!