Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Good







For any of you new to the Red Otter blog, the topic of motherhood has been a sensitive one. William arrived almost six and a half months ago. It wasn't an easy transition. Still isn't at times. But, it's getting better. Like with any relationship, the more time you invest, the better it gets. I feel this incredible surge of joy just looking at these photos. Remembering how I was feeling under the weather last weekend and he just snuggled up. It was better than any drug. I'm not sure I can describe it, but this little person, this adorable bundle of energy pulls me through the day. I want to be someone he's proud of. I want to show him the magic of the world--help him explore and discover. I still struggle with being a stay-at-home mom. It was never something I aspired to and finding validation for what I'm doing, what I'm sacrificing, is difficult. I realize it's about perspective, that some mothers would give anything to be at home with their babies, but I have to keep reminding myself how fortunate I am. Oh, the lessons I'm learning! I feel like I'm perpetually being stretched, that my ideas of what is successful, accomplished, productive are forever being refined. I have to say, though, I know it's good, I feel it in my bones. That what I'm learning, what we're learning together, what we have to explore ahead--it's good!

12 comments:

Krissy said...

what a sweet post mama and baby otter! you have plenty of fun years to learn ahead of you :)

cindy said...

you're doing great and i absolutely love that first photo! baby steps work for grown-ups, too! xo, c

Joyce said...

I can feel the love in these photos! Being a mom has to be a very difficult job at times, the responsibility, imprinting, structure the list goes on and on. I can only imagine how tough, but yet so rewarding it must be. As cindy says baby steps. You are teaching him and he is teaching you. xo

Emily said...

What a powerful post! I admire your honesty and willingness to share your experience with us! I think as women we have so much that is expected of us, so much that we expect of ourselves. When I graduated college, I imagined I would someday be this big, powerful journalist or lawyer. But as I discovered more parts of myself, I realized that was not who I wanted to be. It's so hard not to feel the pressure when we see the successes of our friends and other people. Even as a single woman searching for her place in life, I find myself constantly redefining what my "success" is. When it comes down to it, know that this is where you were meant to be and that where you are now is not where you will be forever. We are forever changing, which is a beautiful and scary thing!

And those pictures are ADORABLE!! He's so sweet, Jewels!

tammy said...

what a sweet & honest post. it's not easy being a mama. i feel like i can relate to this post so well. thanks so much for sharing!

caroline @ patagonia gifts said...

I'm so happy for you Julia. it took me much more time to start to enjoy being a mom. so much pressure, so much perfectionism made things difficult for me. good for you Julia! xo

Victoria Strauser said...

It never was easy for me, either, sweetie. I'm sure you are finding & creating the most authentic way for you!

risamay said...

Your son has the dreamiest eyes! Happy New Year. Wishing you all the best.

Mugdha said...

New reader! This is so sweet! I can't wait to see your progress. I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mom. :)

bronwyn said...

You are right when you say that the more time you invest, the better it gets. I still sometimes struggle with figuring out who I am now that I am someone's mother, but truly, there is nothing better than showing a child the magic in the world. Lovely photos. He is so precious!

Anna Liesemeyer said...

What beautiful photos. He is such a precious boy!
It is true that motherhood stretches you and sometimes it hurts! It is incredible though the joy that creeps in when we give ourselves to our children.

Being a stay at home mom does not have the measures of success or defined value that the world offers in most jobs, but as I look back on my childhood, I know my relationship with my mother is so strong because of how present she was in my life. This is what keeps me going when at home with my boy:)

Vintage Simple said...

I really struggled staying at home - and I didn't even feel like I was giving anything fantastic career-wise either, which made it even harder.

Very tender photos and thoughts, Julia.... You are doing a fantastic job, dear, and just because you don't get paid in dollars, don't think for second it is not a job. And a half.

We all have lots to learn about ourselves along with our growing children... Wishing you and yours a great 2011.

much love,
-maria